So I haven’t written for awhile, and it warms my little heart that people have noticed my absence and perhaps even missed my random writings. I do have some wonderful friends. I will try to do better, folks.
I was in Chicago last week looking at apartments, but mostly I haven’t written because it’s been kind of a down time for me. Okay, maybe a little more than “down.” I have been practically weepy. I was trying to think of a title for this post and the first thing that I came up with was something along the lines of “The Nothingness that is My Life.” I decided against this title because I don’t want people to worry about me. However, my life does feel largely empty right now. I am stuck in that place between wrapping up the place I have been for the past couple of years and moving on to new things. In my mind I am already in Chicago, but apparently God has other ideas. I keep hitting one closed door after the other.
It’s been a week of stumbling. First, Brad and I decided that we can’t move until we sell our house so that kind of puts me back into the just waiting game. Then, the family that we placed Reina with returned her because she didn’t get along perfectly with their puppy. The washer died, and no one showed up at our open house (which my mom and I spent three days cleaning and scrubbing for).
So that’s all the junk. I’ve mostly decided to stop trying to clean the house spotlessly before every showing. I’m just going to keep in clean like I did before, doing a little every day rather than trying to do it all the day before someone looks at it. I’m absolutely sick of cleaning, so maybe that will save my sanity a bit. We did lower the price on the house, so I’m really hoping that that will appeal to buyers. I keep trying to remind myself that it’s an awful market to try to sell a house, and there is nothing more I can really do. I just have to wait. But it still is a very discouraging process, one that I’m not planning on repeating any time soon.
Some of the positive things: Reina is currently staying with another family who is trying her out to see if she will get along with their dog. She has been there since Saturday and I haven’t gotten a phone call yet, so I’m hoping that they might want to keep her. Also, my mom spent two days scrubbing my white cabinets and they look much better. Now, I don’t absolutely loathe them. It’s probably more like a feeling of disdain and tolerance. And yesterday, we spent the afternoon at Lake Wedington with the whole church family. The weather was absolutely perfect and it felt so nice to get out of the house and into some fresh air.
So I’m trying to stay positive and keep chugging along. I just hope that I will find an open door to something soon. This patience thing is pretty hard.