Absolute Chaos

For everyone who’s wondering where I’ve been at, I’m knee deep in sorting through all our stuff for a big moving sale this weekend and then for the move itself. So I may not get back to posting regularly for a few weeks. But I will give some updates here and there. Wish me luck!

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Currently…

Watching

TED Talks. My husband has been watching these for months and I was apparently not listening very well when he was telling me about them. I only started watching them a week or so ago, and I’m absolutely riveted! Basically, TED (Technology, Entertainment, and Design) is a gathering of thousands of the world’s smartest people. The talks are 15 minutes long, and most of them are absolutely fascinating. Some of my favorites so far:

Listening to

Pandora. Very cool radio website. Type in your favorite band or artist and Pandora will find other similar artists. You can approve or reject songs and teach your station what you like. Nice.

Wearing

Well, I’m actually not wearing this yet but will be eventually will be. The goal of Fifty Thousand Shirts is to raise $1,000,000 in relief aid to help those affected by the earthquake that occurred in China on May 12th. Each person who buys a shirt gets their name added to the online wall. Plus, you get a cool shirt to wear. I love buying t-shirts with a purpose. Get yours.

Riding

My awesome new Specialized Crossroads bike that we bought used from a friend. I finally realized that my cheapo Wal-Mart bike is just not going to cut it. Ironically, Brad also has a Specialized Crossroads bike (which is gold, not blue like mine). Awww…won’t we look so cute biking together? It will be great for biking in Chicago.

Speaking of which…

Doing for the next four weeks

Packing! Selling furniture! Setting up the lease on an apartment…in Chicago! That’s right, folks. It’s finally happened. We got an offer on our house yesterday and accepted the offer this morning. Just a few details to work out, a home inspection, and we will be moving out on July 10th!

I’m very, very, very excited (I knew all I had to do was start the vegetable garden and it would happen)! But I’m also a little nervous about taking care of all the details as well as saying good-bye to all our great friends and moving into such an entirely different environment than the one we’re living in now. I know that God is leading us, and I’m just trusting that He’ll take care of all the details.

More Waiting

So I haven’t written for awhile, and it warms my little heart that people have noticed my absence and perhaps even missed my random writings. I do have some wonderful friends. I will try to do better, folks.

I was in Chicago last week looking at apartments, but mostly I haven’t written because it’s been kind of a down time for me. Okay, maybe a little more than “down.” I have been practically weepy. I was trying to think of a title for this post and the first thing that I came up with was something along the lines of “The Nothingness that is My Life.” I decided against this title because I don’t want people to worry about me. However, my life does feel largely empty right now. I am stuck in that place between wrapping up the place I have been for the past couple of years and moving on to new things. In my mind I am already in Chicago, but apparently God has other ideas. I keep hitting one closed door after the other.

It’s been a week of stumbling. First, Brad and I decided that we can’t move until we sell our house so that kind of puts me back into the just waiting game. Then, the family that we placed Reina with returned her because she didn’t get along perfectly with their puppy. The washer died, and no one showed up at our open house (which my mom and I spent three days cleaning and scrubbing for).

So that’s all the junk. I’ve mostly decided to stop trying to clean the house spotlessly before every showing. I’m just going to keep in clean like I did before, doing a little every day rather than trying to do it all the day before someone looks at it. I’m absolutely sick of cleaning, so maybe that will save my sanity a bit. We did lower the price on the house, so I’m really hoping that that will appeal to buyers. I keep trying to remind myself that it’s an awful market to try to sell a house, and there is nothing more I can really do. I just have to wait. But it still is a very discouraging process, one that I’m not planning on repeating any time soon.

Some of the positive things: Reina is currently staying with another family who is trying her out to see if she will get along with their dog. She has been there since Saturday and I haven’t gotten a phone call yet, so I’m hoping that they might want to keep her. Also, my mom spent two days scrubbing my white cabinets and they look much better. Now, I don’t absolutely loathe them. It’s probably more like a feeling of disdain and tolerance. And yesterday, we spent the afternoon at Lake Wedington with the whole church family. The weather was absolutely perfect and it felt so nice to get out of the house and into some fresh air.

So I’m trying to stay positive and keep chugging along. I just hope that I will find an open door to something soon. This patience thing is pretty hard.

Tying Up Loose Ends

In preparation for our big move to Chicago, I have found myself rather scatterbrained. It’s hard to know what to tackle next. I can’t really pack until I know when we’re moving, and to know that, I need to find an apartment. To know what price range we are looking at for apartments, I need to figure out if our house is going to sell any time soon. It’s somewhat of a cyclical catastrophe. Tomorrow – otherwise know as the DAY of Apartment Hunting – I’m looking at at least five different apartments. Tonight, right after I fly in, we are driving to Logan Square to go to an open house (or…open apartment, I should say). Then, after all that, who knows?

Through all this, I find myself thinking about God quite often. One recurring question I have is: “With all the big problems out there in the world – genocide, torture, slavery – why would God care whether I get this apartment or that one? Or whether my house sells now or three months from now? Is it prideful to think that this issue even matters to Him?” Certainly, I know that God cares about us, but what about the specific apartment that we live in for the next two years, while the Josiah Community is developing?

I’ve ushered a lot of little, one-line prayers to this effect: “God, guide our footsteps.” But it is hard to know exactly how that guidance will reveal itself. Scripture is full of the stories of men and women, all including a God who is intimately involved in the background details. I have to believe that He is likewise involved in my story.

Today has been a rather sad and discouraging day, but also hopeful. First, we heard back from the second apartment we applied to: we were turned down from that one as well. Then, we placed our largest dog with a new family. She spent the night with them and they called this morning to say that she got along great with their dog and they wanted to keep her. We are so excited about this, since we didn’t want to leave her at a shelter, but it is also a little hard to say good-bye to a friend we’ve had for almost three years. We still have our three other little beasts to keep us busy, and we are happy that Reina is going to be in a great home.

Change is an interesting journey. I personally enjoy change, even with the difficult parts, because I know that I am growing through the experience and I hope that I am listening to what God is teaching me.